The Infamous PumpkinRot Ritual

  Warning to Martha Stewart fans:  TURN BACK NOW!

Chances are, if you're cruising this site, you enjoy Halloween as much as I do.  Okay, maybe no one else on this planet enjoys Halloween as much as I do, because I insist on making it last six weeks or more--depending upon the weather--after October 31st.   How do I manage this?  It's easy, and you can do it, too!  Here's how:

When Halloween is over, don't throw away that Jack 'O Lantern you carved so lovingly and placed on your doorstep to delight the kiddies.  Do not discard, stomp, smash, blow up or otherwise destroy your valuable veggie orb!  Weeks of viewing pleasure await you if you follow my simple directions.  Place your pumpkin in a spot where you can see it out of a window.  Position it face forward.  Now watch it rot.  Below, you'll find my 2001 PumpkinRot Spectacular.  (Please allow the images to load.  If it seems to take too long, you are welcome to while away the loading time by e-mailing me to raise hell about it while you wait.)  

La-da-dee....  Oh, look!  Here they are!

Okay, Halloween's Over!  On to the fun stuff:

Here are Mr. and Mrs. Pumpkin the day after Halloween, ensconced in my garden vegetable bed.  Don't they look great?

Well, keep going.  They won't look good for long...

Here are they are a week later.  The tiniest bit of decay is just beginning to set in.  See the little rot points in the pale white flesh of their delicate interiors? Their mouths and eyes are starting to curl under...

It's starting to get nasty!  Black rot has taken hold and the pumpkin pair are not very pretty at three weeks out, are they?  Tee hee.  They've got such a long way to go!

Oh YUCK!  This is what PumpkinRot is all about!  Rot, disease, funk, distortion.  Ain't decay great?

Oh, how cute!  They've grown little white beards in anticipation of the coming yuletide season, becoming little Santa pumpkins, and--  What's that?  Yeah, I guess that is a gross fungus invasion...  Oh well.

Yummy, yummy, don't they look absolutely delectable? And you know what?  I forgot all about them when I was making pumpkin pies for Thanksgiving dinner...  Drat!

Ah well...  All good things must come to an end, and seven weeks of PumpkinRot have turned my darling veggie orbs into disgusting mush.  It's time for the annual pitchfork ride to the compost heap, and, as we bid a fond farewell to Mr. and Mrs. Pumpkin, we may take heart in the knowledge that...

There's always next year!